I was on my way to Sainsbury's, braving the cold in my pj's and slippers. I was in one of those strange moods. Instead of cursing the ill-tempered gale I was swimming against, I accepted the flurry of sensory stimulation it had to offer. It reminded me why I was delaying my haircut for so long... and why an un-shaven face has more benefits than just looking neat. I slipped around the corner to see the gate I normally walk through was blocked by some roadworks.
My normal reaction would have been to walk the long way around. As I was in a strange mood, I decided to go the strange way around. I ran up to the gate, and planted my right foot into the gate hinge. I heaved my unaccustomed arms over my head and clasped my soft, naive hands into grooves in the brick wall. At this point my body was in auto-pilot, the last time I had climbed anything ended in broken bones, and I was not experienced. The muscles in my arms contracted, levering my torso around the elbow fulcrum. I swung my legs over, paused, and jumped.
I landed awkwardly in front of an old lady who wasn't too impressed with the randomness of an unkempt lad in slippers leaping over walls. It was only then that I realised that there was an open side-door next to the gate, and that my antics were pretty pointless. This was still not enough to distract me from my new 'rediscovery' : My Proprioception.
My heart rate was up, my whole body tense, and my right knee throbbing with pain. I had never felt physically better in my life. I had this incredible new-found awareness of every inch of my body. This was probably the first time in years that my body was contracted to exert itself for an actual purpose.
Unfortunately, all this did was to get me thinking.
Back in the days of the cave, man used to run to survive. He used to run in hunting, and run in fear of being hunted. Man used to run to gain fuel, yet today man is encouraged to run to lose fuel. What a strange sight it would be to the cave-man, if he saw us today, trudging along on our treadmills to no actual destination or visible purpose.
Our species has slowly tipped the balance from what used to be a purely physical existence, to that of a more intellectual presence. There was once a time where man knew how to build his own house and plough his own land. Man is so feeble physically today that I'm pretty sure even the stereotype of 'being able to wire a plug' does not apply any more.
We have even invented sports to keep our deteriorating muscles and bones alive. We run after balls, throw balls and catch balls for no actual purpose. We now run marathons just for the sake of running. We salute those that run the best. To what purpose though? Running from what... and to what?
This isn't what bothers me. We have replaced our need for physicality with that of mental prowess. It's done us well, and made us relatively prosperous although I still feel we would benefit from a more physical existence.
What does puzzle me, is a growing trend of weight-lifting and 'henchness'. Forget the treadmill, where the lack of a physical life and a gluttonous taste has lead people to run for the sake of it. Men (and some women) are increasingly looking to put on weight in the form of muscle. It makes no sense on paper. Why the need to build muscle? You're not ever going to use those muscles in a practical situation. The aim for building muscle now is to look 'hencher' hence stronger and more of a man than other guys, whilst attracting all the girls.
This was a fundamental part of girl-boy kinetics in the past. A guy would be toiling away in the field, construction or hunting, gradually building muscle. His efforts in life were reflected in his body. His muscularity reflects his power and abilities in real life and this is what was attractive. The fact is his muscles weren't just some decoration.
Today, there is no actual base for this. The bulging muscles mean nothing. Instead of gaining muscle through work, we gain it through a mixture of protein shakes and ridiculous exercises. There is an actual intention to get hench not to use the strength but to reap in the spoils of being big. For all we know the majority of these people are sissified individuals hiding behind an armour of protein...
But hey. Why am I being such an Uncle Scrooge. Let them be as artificially attractive as they please!
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