I’m tired of cringing every time I read the news. I grit my teeth before I open the BBC news
website, or secretly pray before I pick up a paper. Yet there it always is; ‘Islamist
takeover of schools, pupils unprotected’, ‘Pregnant, Christian, Sudanese
doctor to be hanged for apostasy’, ‘Halal meat sold by Pizza
Express’, ‘British Muslims fight with Syria extremists’, ‘Muslim
paedophile gang caught’, ‘Abu Hamza extradited, sentenced’, ‘ ‘Honour
killer sentenced’. When will these intolerant, bigoted murderers become
extinct? When will I stop seeing Islam portrayed so badly in the media, and
when will the media stop poaching all it knows about Islam from a raving,
lunatic minority? When is the government going to stop finding even more ways
to push their ‘Islamist’ agenda?
Last week I was sitting with my work colleagues, watching
the news. I was the only Muslim in the room. They begin to cover the
approaching capital punishment of Meriam, a Sudanese lady who renounced her
Muslim faith and became a Christian. She was due to be killed, by ‘law’, for
apostasy. I started to cringe again. I wondered, should I speak out about this,
clarify that this is not what my religion is about? After all I am a Muslim,
and this lady was scheduled to be killed in the name of my faith. One of my
colleagues commented about how awful this was, and I latched on to her
comments, nodding along as I assented, echoing her words. I quickly quipped that I didn't feel this represented Islam.
This didn’t make me feel better. On the contrary, I was
suddenly immersed in even more shame. I felt like I had just betrayed someone.
Truth is, I had betrayed more than just ‘someone’ and I knew it there and then.
With my quasi-apology, I had betrayed my faith. Why did I feel this urge to
apologise for an undertaking which I am vehemently against, of which I have no
input and relation to? Shouldn’t I be proud of my faith as it is,
proud enough not to feel responsible for the madness exuded by other ‘Muslims’?
This was the root of the problem. I couldn’t explain the source of this collective
‘responsibility’ for the actions of all Muslims. It’s not like the average
Christian on the street is in need of apologising for child abuse in the
church.
This ‘guilt’ comes as a result of an aggressive media
presence of ‘Muslim’ scum and their actions, an unquenching thirst of the media
for more of their material, and the government pushing an unprecedented
alienation of Muslims. 10 years ago, it would suffice to say I was a Muslim.
Now, thanks to all this unwanted attention, people (Muslim or Non-Muslim) want
to know if you’re Shia or Sunni, believe in stunning animals before violently
slaughtering them (whilst singing random Arabic incantations), believe it’s ok
to kill someone because they leave Islam, believe in ‘Sharia’ law or
think girls can’t do PE unless dressed in cloaks.
They’ve won. Once there was a time where collective responsibility
was possible, where you felt you could speak out for your fellow Muslims. Now,
Muslims are so radically split in their beliefs and practice that some factions
will refuse to acknowledge others as Muslim. As a ‘moderate’, you have to
explain yourself, wear a badge saying ‘I’m one of the good guys!’, otherwise people
will think you aspire to have a hook for a hand. This need to explain
yourself, to separate yourself from those dangerous, puritanical and beastly
extremists insinuates that there is disunity in Islam, when the reality is there
was no unity to begin with (with the extremists that is). It gives the impression that Islam, moderate and
evolving Islam, is crumbling whilst the truth is those bad eggs crumbled away
ages ago. We have nothing to apologise or feel guilty for. Any semblance of
guilt and we are caving in to pressure from both extremists and government.
So I’m sorry, I will not apologise, dear work colleague, for
the actions of the Sudanese government. I will instead join you in their
condemnation.
